How To Keep Focused on the ‘We’ in the Wedding Prep!

I have to start with an apology for not blogging in so long. It’s just an example that I am not super woman and something had to give over the past couple of months. That something was blogging. I like to think that I am a good multi-tasker, but with motherhood, work, marathon training and wedding planning…it all got a bit much, but...

...I’m back!

I thought it may be appropriate to write a couple of little blogs about our wedding that was less than two weeks ago!

I’ve been married before and I was truly worried that I would feel like a fraud and somewhat embarrassed to make a big deal of this wedding. I felt a little hypocritical at first, but then I asked myself ‘why?’ The answer was because I was worried what others would think and concerned that they’d view me as a joke. I had to quickly shake that off and remember that John and I should do this exactly how we want to. Just because we’ve been there before doesn’t make it less significant or real. The fact that we are both wanting and willing to take this step, complete with three children, goes to show just how committed we are. We know how big a deal it is and we love and believe in us that much we are prepared to announce that to the world with all our vulnerabilities on display.

 So that’s exactly what we did!

Weddings are funny. Your focus gets so wrapped up in planning for the one day, you can easily lose perspective on the purpose and meaning of marriage in amongst all the fluff. I tried to be really mindful of this so when planning got overwhelming or things wouldn’t go 100% according to plan, I could tap back into the ‘why’ I am putting so much into one day to begin with.

Why? Because I want to celebrate the love and commitment I have to my wonderful husband, John, with my family and friends. The wedding is one day, the marriage is every day thereafter and that’s where the importance falls.

 I truly think that this simple, but crucial reminder, was what made wedding prepping so much fun, even with moments of stress thrown in.

It also helps that I am a very organised person. It wasn’t long after the engagement that I was working out who would be in my bridal party, who would do readings, and putting out recommendations for celebrants, florists, venues, photographers etc. Basically, John was happy for me to organise and simply run ideas by him before committing to anything. Planning outside of his profession is not really his thing and he happily let my organisational skills shine ;-)

I am also someone that sees what I like and stops looking elsewhere. This is a useful trait when organising a wedding! As soon as I saw something, or met someone, who met our vision and/or persona for the day, we locked it in:

·      Maid of Honour’s cousin = celebrant (Danielle Ledgerwood)

·      Friend who had just started a cake business = wedding cake (Happy Cakes)

·      Friend’s wedding photographer whose images we’d been admiring on social media = lock it in (Rebecca Skilling)

·      Where we love to run with beautiful views and is centrally located for guests = Mt Coot-tha venue secured (Summit Restaurant and Bar)

·      Charismatic and funny friend = obviously our MC (Jerrod Smith)

·      Local privately-owned florist = flowers done (The Little Flower Market)

·      Friend and hairdresser extraordinaire = no brainer (Amy Perkins - Heart Fire Collective)

·      Make-up = recommended by hairdresser (Bespoke Faces)

Over the engagement period there were lots of girl’s days with my bridal party, particularly in the final weeks when one of them arrived from the UK. Champagne fuelled sessions for making the wedding favours, designing the name placings and simply being as girly as is humanly possible. Not to mention the incredible Hen's day/night – ‘Solly’s Race to the Aisle’ - organised by my amazing Maid of Honour! I have never felt so surrounded by loving support from 25 beautiful friends as I did that night!

The final two pre-wedding nights were at the Stamford Plaza (arguably Brisbane’s most exquisite hotel) where we got completely glammed up with nails, eyelashes, tans…I had even organised gift bags for each of the bridesmaids and the two flower girls (my daughter and step-daughter) full of exciting gifts I’d been collecting over the past 10 months. It was estrogen overload!!

One of the reasons this “girliness” was so important to me is because I have never been in a position to do this before. I haven’t had a sense of belonging and acceptance with my girlfriends like I do today, and it’s something that I truly treasure and craved for so long. It also makes up for (to an extent) the fact that I lack that sense of togetherness from my family. My family love me – I know this. I also know that most of my family really support the marriage and support me as a sibling/daughter, but… they’ll tend to save such words for a wedding speech where they may find it far easier to express emotion with intellectual flare and wit to an audience than individually. That doesn’t mean to say their words are empty – far from it, however, getting involved in the finer everyday frivolity of pre-wedding fun is not really their style.

I used to want to hide this side of my personality from my family and be ashamed for being somewhat different – viewing myself as inferior and inadequate because I enjoy following more mainstream and conventional paths than themselves. These days, I don’t care so much. I am far more comfortable in my own skin, and perhaps that’s why I now have the friends that I do. You attract the right people for you when you know who you are, what you want and don’t hide from it. An even better example of this, is in attracting the right man. In cometh John.

So back to the wedding prep…

It was all so much FUN! Busy, hectic, crazy, lacking in sleep? YES! But oh, so much FUN! You don’t appreciate how much fun until it’s all over and you come crashing down with the post-wedding nostalgia.

You’d think reading this that I was marrying my friends! The thing is though, that at the centre of all this girly overload was the heart and reason for it – I was finally with the right man for me and it may have taken a few frogs to get there, but these girlfriends who know better than most, fully appreciate how much he has changed my life (and my daughter’s) for the better. They were just as keen to celebrate this love as I was, because none of us would have pictured me quite this in love and happy even 4 years ago!

Stay tuned for my next blog on the wedding day itself and perhaps a little vocal act from yours truly ;-)